The Power of Male Friendships:

How the Church Can Help

Every day, more men feel lonely. Many men find it hard to find the words to express their feelings or to build close friendships where they can be emotionally vulnerable. Studies show that male friendship can impact health outcomes, health, emotional well-being, and the feeling of having a sense of purpose. 

Churches can be a safe place where men find these friendships and grow stronger together. 

Why Male Friendships Matter

Mental Health & Loneliness

Men tend to be more hesitant than women to share their feelings. Studies show that men feel lonely and sad, but don’t always know who to talk to. One study of men with depression found that many had no safe person to share their feelings with, and the burden became overwhelming over time (Bryant‑Bedell & Waite, 2010; Liang & George, 2012). This inability to share emotions cascades into many other negative health outcomes, but friendships can help provide men the space they need.

Sense of Purpose & Well-Being

Men’s Sheds are groups where men meet to work on shared projects. Research found that men who attend these groups feel more connected, happier, and less depressed (Crabtree et al., 2017). This shows that a community that is centered around completing a task provides space for men to find purpose. Another review showed that these groups offer meaning and support that help men grow emotionally and socially (Kelly et al., 2019). Men need other men, not to merely sit around and talk with, but to tackle a mission together. This sense of purpose and community is not just fun, it’s healing.

Healthy Emotional Bonding

Men sometimes struggle to be emotionally open, but research shows this can change when friendships allow trust. Some of this difficulty comes from societal expectations. Men are expected to be strong. We are often leaders in our communities, leaders at home. We have a lot riding on our shoulders and often feel like we can not show “weakness.”  Studies of “bromances” (close, platonic male friendships) and deeper male bonds show men become more emotionally strong and less likely to suffer sadness when they allow emotional closeness (Robinson et al., 2017). Men understand the struggle of other men, and having these relationships can provide an outlet where men can bring down their guards and build emotional resilience at the same time.

 How the Church Can Be Part of the Solution

Churches are more than spiritual spaces. Churches can also be communities for healing. Here are three ways that Hampton Apostolic can help men build strong, healthy friendships with each other and be the best version of themselves for those most important in their lives!

Men's Groups Offered

Firstly, we offer small groups for men. Small groups are smaller gatherings, usually in a person's home,  with the purpose of equipping men to be men. We give space for masculinity that is biblically driven! We equip men with purpose, develop them to be leaders in their homes and communities, and provide a space where the struggles and tensions of manhood can be teased out in a sympathetic space.

Manhood Bestowed

Secondly, we offer the opportunity to capture a sense of manhood by being around other men. To quote John Elderedge’s Fathered by God, “masculinity is bestowed. A boy learns who he is and what he’s made of from a man (or a company of men). This can’t be learned in any other place. It can’t be learned from other boys, and it can’t be learned from the world of women.” In a world where single-parent homes and adult boys who never became men are influencing our generation of men, we need a place where manhood can be instilled! Through discipleship and mentorship, organically biblical values of masculinity are passed on.

Emotional Honesty Encouraged

Thirdly, we offer a safe space for men to be real with each other. The emotional inner world of many, men in particular, often goes ignored. We drown out our feelings with distraction. We fill ourselves up with media so we don’t have to confront the turbulent emotions and dissatisfaction that lie underneath. Sermons preached with conviction can model emotional honesty. Here at Hampton Apostolic Church, there are no perfect Christians. We are raw before God, and we encourage you to allow God to minister to the real you, not wear the mask Christians often put on. We believe in progress over perfection!

Church is a great benefit for men! When men make friends, mental health improves. Friendships lower sadness, stress, and heart risks. Churches become places of hope and healing, beyond Sunday services. Men who share life with peers stay closer to God and Scripture. Accountability helps them grow spiritually and be stronger leaders in their families. Men with emotional closeness bring strength to marriage and fatherhood, which in turn contributes to more stable homes and healthier kids. When men share real-life stories within their church communities, it becomes a powerful witness to the world. Real men being real together invite others in.

Final Word

Men don’t have to stay lonely. Research proves that male friendships can bring healing, joy, and purpose. Churches can offer the right space, through shared activity, emotional safety, accountability, mentoring, and real community.

At Hampton Apostolic Church, we believe that God intended men to walk together. Our goal is to help men grow in faith and friendships, side by side, in the Spirit, sharing life. If you're a man ready for deeper connection, we invite you to join one of our men's groups. You're not alone, and you don't have to walk this road by yourself.

References

Bryant‑Bedell, K., & Waite, S. (2010). Men’s lived experience of mental illness: The role of social support. American Journal of Men’s Health, 4(2), 146–157. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6142169  

Cordier, R., & Wilson, N. J. (2013). Men’s Sheds: Promoting male health, well-being and social inclusion. Health Promotion International, 21(5), 451–461. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/  

Crabtree, L., Tinker, A., & Glaser, K. (2017). Men’s Sheds: The perceived health and well-being benefits. Working with Older People, 21(4), 8–18. https://kclpure.kcl.ac.uk/portal/en/publications/mens-sheds-the-perceived-health-and-wellbeing-benefits  

Eldredge, John. Fathered by God. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2009. 

Kelly, D., Steiner, A., Mason, H., & Teasdale, S. (2019). Men’s Sheds: A conceptual exploration of causal pathways. Health & Social Care in the Community, 27(4), 1147–1157. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6772158/  

Kelly, D., Teasdale, S., Steiner, A., & Mason, H. (2021). Men’s Sheds as an alternative healthcare route. BMC Public Health, 21, 553. https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-021-10585-3  

Liang, J., & George, P. (2012). Social support and mental illness in men. American Journal of Men’s Health. [Research cited in PMC6142169]  

Robinson, S., Anderson, E., & White, A. (2017). The bromance: Expanding boundaries of male friendship. Sex Roles, 76, 145–158. [Referenced in Robinson et al. 2017]